Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Spotted on Instagram:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Live now on Facebook:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Just shared via Discord:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Making waves on Slack:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Just shared via YouTube:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm trying to adult, but my inner baby keeps maxing out my snack budget! 🍩🍼💸

adulting, baby, expense, expensive, humor, i, money, responsibility, self-deprecating, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

2 months ago

always, dating, expectations, humor, intelligent, intelligent man, irony, know, love, man, marry, men, relationship, want, women
I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

2 months ago

compliment, humor, i, playful, relationship, sarcasm, something, teasing, think, wit, wrong
As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

2 months ago

child, childhood, choice, choices, dinner, family, food, humor, leave, mealtime, menu, parenting, sarcasm, take
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

5 months ago

beverage, coke, diet, Diet Coke, gunshot, gunshot wound, humor, injury, ironic, ironic remedy, pain, pain relief, relief, remedy, wound
If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

5 months ago

attitude, back, demon, ever, humor, ID, just, me, possessed, possession, problem, sarcasm, say, sit, wit
Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

2 months ago

day, Friday, humor, procrastination, Thursday, time, today, unnecessary, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Just shared via WeChat:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Making waves on Reddit:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Making waves on Messenger:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Making waves on Twitch:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Trending via Messenger:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨