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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm trying to adult, but my inner baby keeps maxing out my snack budget! 🍩🍼💸

adulting, baby, expense, expensive, humor, i, money, responsibility, self-deprecating, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

2 months ago

business, call, conversation, disguise, humor, me, prank, self-talk, speaking, take, voice
Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

2 months ago

addiction, amazing, call, cure, fast, humor, i, irony, moment, observation, phone, technology
Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

2 months ago

comedy, example, feelings, humor, hunger, men, relationships, stereotypes, thirst, too
Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

3 months ago

abstain, comparison, cravings, desire, food, good, humor, joke, sex, stuff, worst
Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

2 months ago

advice, cheese, food, Germany, humor, käse, people, pun, sausage, scenario, stock, wurst, Wurst Käse
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

2 months ago

appearance, diarrhea, good, humor, magical, people, photo, photogenic, photography, pic, picture, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

37 shares on X this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Spotted on Messenger:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Just landed via X:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Trending via Slack:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Trending via Twitch:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨