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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Going viral on Messenger:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Live now on Instagram:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.
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Commentary:
When you're so optimistic, even your calendar's blushing 😂🗓️💭

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Making waves on YouTube:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Just landed via Threads:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Just shared via Telegram:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Going viral on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Making waves on WeChat:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Seen just now on X:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Live now on Slack:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

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