Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I tried yoga once and nearly mastered the art of turning myself into a pretzel… except I forgot the 'calm and composed' part. 🥨😆 #YogaFails"

dignity, exercise, fail, hamstring, humor, i, injury, once, tried, yoga

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

0

2 months ago

afraid, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, fear, funny situation, guy, husband, kidnap, kidnapped, marketplace, me, online, online purchase, pick, pickup, purchase, sent, shell, situation, something, wife, wife fear
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

0

2 months ago

brag, confidence, earrings, fit, high, high school, humor, i, nostalgia, school, self-deprecation, still, want
Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

0

2 months ago

cow, fight, fighting, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, just, nature, over, tornado
“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

0

3 days ago

always, complaint, forbid, girl, God, humor, sleep, sleeping, unconscious, wants
If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

0

2 months ago

being, confidence, glasses, humor, i, self-image, sexy, time, vision
My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

0

4 months ago

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

13 shares on X this month:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

19 shares on X this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

91 shares on X this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

71 shares on Slack this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

58 shares on Discord this month:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Just shared via Telegram:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Seen just now on Slack:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Just landed via Telegram:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Going bananas on X:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Trending via Facebook:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Going viral on YouTube:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨