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Commentary:
"I tried yoga once and nearly mastered the art of turning myself into a pretzel… except I forgot the 'calm and composed' part. 🥨😆 #YogaFails"

dignity, exercise, fail, hamstring, humor, i, injury, once, tried, yoga

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

0

2 months ago

bills, cat, freedom, humor, i, job, just, meow, relaxation, wish
I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

0

2 months ago

back, differently, Friday, humor, i, need, procrastination, thinking, time, time travel, travel, want, weekend, wishful, wishful thinking
You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

0

2 months ago

badass, bunny, cleaning, corner, dust, dust bunny, exaggeration, fear, humor, irony, real, spider, unexpected
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

0

2 months ago

change, cleanliness, diaper, humor, irony, joke, politician, politics, reason, same, satire
I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

0

2 months ago

always, closet, day, enter, fear, head, house, humor, i, irony, thief, things, unconscious
How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

0

2 months ago

attitude, communication, humor, message, okay, rude, sarcasm, text, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I put the hot in psychotic.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Just shared via Discord:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Just shared via Twitch:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨