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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Making waves on X:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Making waves on WeChat:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Making waves on Telegram:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Just shared via Reddit:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Going viral on WeChat:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Just landed via WeChat:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Snacks and juice: the ultimate life goals! 🍪🥤 Who needs deep conversations when you have cookies?

change, desire, humor, i, juice, just, priorities, snack, snacks, things, understanding, used, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

2 months ago

away, circus, escape, humor, i, inconvenience, minor, running, running away, stress, swear
Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

4 months ago

derivative, disappointed, disappointment, dream, just, last, nights, obvious, stuff, symbolism
Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

2 months ago

argument, babe, bait, communication, conversation, humor, i, misunderstanding, okay, partner, playful, relationship
Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

2 months ago

age, am, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, old, people, sarcasm
Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

6 months ago

activity, bird, birds, depression, feeding, good, health, hobby, mental, mental health, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, porch, pretty, relaxation, sitting, squirrel, squirrels, treatment
Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

2 months ago

America, bus, critique, film, film critique, Forrest Gump, gump, haunting, haunting film, humor, irony, observation, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on YouTube this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

82 shares on WeChat this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

80 shares on Instagram this month:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

31 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Live now on TikTok:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Shared recently on Threads:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Live now on Twitch:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨