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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Breaking via Discord:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Spotted on Messenger:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Making waves on Twitch:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Okay, just five more cat videos and then I'll save the world! 😸📱🌍

after, doom, doom scroll, humor, i, improve, improvement, life, little, media, procrastination, scroll, self, self-improvement, social, social media, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

0

2 weeks ago

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise
At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

0

2 months ago

agree, agreement, amazing, bra, clothing, comfort, feeling, humor, least, men, relief, take, thing, women
Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

0

4 weeks ago

dating, Funny, funny observation, hard, hard to get, hard to want, humor, me, men, observation, playing, want
You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

0

2 months ago

age, growth, humor, life, never, old, older, stupid, too, wisdom
Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

0

2 months ago

celebration, enough, event, humor, marriage, object, people, speaking, statistic, statistically, wedding
Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

0

2 months ago

activity, cloud, fun, heaven, me, photo, sitting, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

60 shares on Slack this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Just shared via TikTok:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Trending via Instagram:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Seen just now on X:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Trending via TikTok:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨