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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Just landed via Threads:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If I come back as a cat, at least I'll have a valid excuse for napping all day 😴🐱✨

fatigue, humor, i, less, reincarnation, tired, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

0

2 months ago

bible, college, escape, even, frustration, here, humor, life, me, once, somebody, student, student life
I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

0

2 months ago

house, humor, i, introvert, leaving, people, preference, relationship, social, treat, treated, want
Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

0

2 months ago

aging, animals, birds, humor, observation, older, once, people-watching, start, think
Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, awkwardness, friendship, gathering, humor, intervention, invite, normalize, over, social, social gathering, someone, whenever
I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

0

2 months ago

brain, confusion, everyday, everyday life, forgetfulness, habit, humor, i, joke, learn, life, memory, need, new, old, old habit, remember, room, something, why
Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, honesty, humor, i, nothing, sarcasm, say, silence, social, sorry, touch, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Discord this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Just shared via Threads:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Going bananas on Threads:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Live now on X:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Trending via WhatsApp:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Shared recently on Slack:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨