Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Live now on Slack:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Making waves on Discord:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Live now on Instagram:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Spotted on Discord:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Making waves on Reddit:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Spotted on WeChat:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Just landed via Slack:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the last minute is the real MVP of my schedule! 😂⏰✨

anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

3

2 weeks ago

being, frustration, hate, humor, income, job, money, people, poor, poverty, still, work, working
If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

0

2 months ago

close, distance, forefinger, friendship, head, humor, i, keep, mime, preference, relationships, squishing, thumb
I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

0

2 months ago

annoy, change, furniture, home, humor, husband, i, people, rearrange, relationship, tell, things
I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

0

12 hours ago

boredom, dilemma, enjoyment, entertainment, finishing, hate, i, series, sery
Starting to think business is standing on me.

0

5 months ago

business, complaint, humor, me, pressure, standing, starting, stress, think, wordplay, work
I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

0

2 months ago

behavior, communication, content, done, extra, extra content, humor, i, media, obsession, oh, online, online behavior, second, social, social media, thought, tweet, Tweets, unnecessary

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WeChat this month:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

69 shares on X this month:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

56 shares on X this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

50 shares on Slack this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

91 shares on Threads this month:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Spotted on Twitch:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Trending via Reddit:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Making waves on Twitch:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Just landed via X:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Just shared via Slack:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Going viral on Slack:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Starting to think business is standing on me.

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨