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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.
  • Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.
  • If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.
  • The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.
  • I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.
  • If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?