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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Live now on WeChat:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Spotted on Threads:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Shared recently on Slack:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Spotted on Messenger:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Being America's sweetheart is a tough gig, but with extra snacks and Wi-Fi, I think I can manage! 🍿🇺🇸✨

America, being, challenge, dark, dark time, easy, humor, responsibility, someone, sweetheart, time, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

0

2 months ago

20s, actually, breaking, curse, empowerment, generational, generational curse, hate, independence, man, marry, me, self-love, survive
My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

0

2 months ago

asked, communication, friends, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, so-called, social, stop
It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

0

2 months ago

church, clicking, devil, humor, ignored, irony, procrastination, relaxation, sitting, sleep, Sunday
Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

0

2 months ago

expression, finger, gesture, honesty, humor, middle, middle finger, pretend, pull, purse, something, women
Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

0

2 months ago

blowing, chat, communication, distraction, frustration, group, group chat, humor, nothing, patience, phone, tests, texting
Eating healthy requires a second job.

0

2 months ago

diet, eating, healthy, healthy eating, humor, job, lifestyle, money, second, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

10 shares on X this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

98 shares on X this month:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Trending via Discord:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just shared via Twitch:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Trending via Telegram:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Seen just now on Facebook:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Trending via Messenger:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Going viral on Facebook:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨