Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you've got your friendly neighborhood landscaper, right? 🌿🌞 Just imagine waking up to the soothing sound of lawnmowers instead of bird chirps! 🐦💤 #MorningRoutineGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

2 months ago

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Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

3 months ago

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The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

3 months ago

behavior, bump, even, female, female behavior, feminine, feminine urge, humor, hurt, i, ouch, pain, reaction, say, things, urge
“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

2 months ago

accept, bigger, bigger person, disrespect, growth, humor, irony, much, person, personal, personal growth, self-respect, sounds, too
First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

2 months ago

close, date, first date, funny idea, humor, i, idea, lean, playful, surprise, wet, wet willy, willy
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

2 months ago

back, borrowing, city, debt, finance, having, humor, money, move, new, new city, pay, payback, relocation, worst

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

42 shares on Slack this month:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

48 shares on Discord this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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