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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Trending via Snapchat:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Breaking via Reddit:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Just landed via Telegram:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Making waves on Slack:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

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It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.
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Commentary:
Mondays are like a snooze button for the week—quiet, low, and slightly regrettable 😴🔇📉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

91 shares on Messenger this month:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Breaking via Threads:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Breaking via Reddit:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Seen just now on Discord:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

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