Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Spotted on X:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Seen just now on X:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Trending via Instagram:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Years later and still serving up cold dishes 🍽️😎 Revenge isn't a fast food! 🍔⏳

ago, comeback, coming, got, humor, just, me, never, patience, payback, persistence, relax, revenge, someone, threat, wronged

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

0

2 months ago

around, communication, confusion, emoji, expression, fashion, feel, feeling, humor, i, idea, know, outfit, wear, women
I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

0

2 months ago

General, humor, military, never, salute, sarcasm, settings, tech, tech humor
I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

0

2 months ago

am, comedy, dessert, diet, food, food joke, humor, i, italian, Italian food, joke, just, leaving, pasta, pizza, speak, where, wordplay
Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

0

2 months ago

dairy, food, heathen, humor, intolerance, lactose, tolerate
Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

0

2 months ago

different, expectation, fairy, fairy tale, frog, humor, just, me, prince, promise, ratio, tale
I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, embarrassing, God, Gord, humor, i, lord, mix-up, mixed, prayed, religion

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Discord this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

67 shares on X this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

96 shares on X this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

40 shares on Discord this month:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Going viral on Discord:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Live now on YouTube:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨