May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.