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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Breaking via Instagram:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Just landed via Messenger:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Just landed via Threads:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Live now on X:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Trending via WeChat:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

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Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.
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Commentary:
"Men: the ultimate plot twist in the story of your life! 📖🤷‍♂️ They'll mess things up, vanish like a mysterious character, and then suddenly reappear to give the plot another twist. It's like they're the unpredictable plot twist you never saw coming! 🔄😄 #MenWillMen"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

99 shares on X this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

59 shares on Discord this month:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,796

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Going viral on TikTok:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

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