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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I love when the plot thickens.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Spotted on Reddit:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Trending via YouTube:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Live now on Messenger:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just shared via Twitch:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Making waves on Twitch:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about men causing chaos but still liking your posts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Men: the ultimate plot twist in the story of your life! 📖🤷‍♂️ They'll mess things up, vanish like a mysterious character, and then suddenly reappear to give the plot another twist. It's like they're the unpredictable plot twist you never saw coming! 🔄😄 #MenWillMen"

back, comeback, humor, irony, life, men, relationship, ruin, story, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

63 shares on Threads this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Spotted on YouTube:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Just landed via Discord:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Making waves on YouTube:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Making waves on X:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Live now on Facebook:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Going viral on TikTok:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Just shared via X:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

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