Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Just shared via Threads:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Spotted on YouTube:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Just landed via Messenger:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Seen just now on X:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Breaking via X:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Laughing at my wallet like it's a comedy show, starring me! 😂💸😅

budget, financial, financial planning, humor, i, know, last, month, planning, positivity, smile, uncertainty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, decision making, friends, going, humor, original, plan, procrastination, strategy
Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

0

2 months ago

communication, couple, dark, dark humor, humor, intimacy, kill, relationship, sentence
Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

0

2 months ago

attack, blood, cell, cells, health, humor, joke, smile, tried, white, white blood cell, yesterday
Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

0

2 months ago

anger, being, chaos, except, fun, getting, humor, iceberg, irony, mad, making, media, playing, right, satire, social, social media, Titanic, Twitter, violin
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

0

1 month ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

0

2 months ago

challenge, Christmas, family, humor, kids, ornaments, parent, parenting, put, rearrange, thing, tree

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem is I am always the problem.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

88 shares on YouTube this month:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Trending via TikTok:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Just landed via TikTok:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Going viral on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Live now on Pinterest:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Making waves on TikTok:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨