My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.