Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

This sex could have been an email.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Making waves on Telegram:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Seen just now on Slack:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Live now on YouTube:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Breaking via YouTube:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Going viral on Discord:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

1 month ago

Funny quote about workplace humor: thinking one email warrants a break, highlighting playful laziness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just sent an email and now I'm ready for a nap and a trophy 🏆😴✉️

after, break, deserve, email, habit, humor, i, laziness, procrastination, productivity, self-awareness, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, work, work habit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

69 shares on X this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

67 shares on X this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Just shared via Twitch:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just shared via Discord:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Breaking via TikTok:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨