My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

89 shares on Discord this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.