Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Spotted on Threads:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Just landed via Threads:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Trending via Snapchat:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Live now on Twitch:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just need a cauldron and a cat, and you'll be casting curses in no time! 🧙‍♀️😼🍵

aging, almost, anger, angry, bitter, bitterness, complete, humor, old, old woman, sarcasm, transformation, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

0

2 months ago

drink, health, humor, hydration, people, remember, reminder, self-care, water
I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

0

2 months ago

attitude, bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotions, fun, humor, making, mechanism, minutes, sad, sadness, self-deprecation, situation, three
I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

0

2 months ago

aging, confidence, gray, gray hair, hair, highlight, humor, wisdom
I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

0

2 months ago

door, expectation, hold, humor, i, just, lady, me, open, refrigerator, relationship, romance, someone, treat, want
Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

0

4 months ago

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, eyesight, humor, metaphor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time
If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

0

2 months ago

food, girl, humor, i, medium, Medium Spice, mild, Mild Spice, personality, playfulness, spice, Spice Girl

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

44 shares on Slack this month:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Shared recently on Slack:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Spotted on WeChat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Going viral on Twitch:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨