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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Just landed via WeChat:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Making waves on Messenger:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Going viral on Messenger:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Just shared via WeChat:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Just need a cauldron and a cat, and you'll be casting curses in no time! 🧙‍♀️😼🍵

aging, almost, anger, angry, bitter, bitterness, complete, humor, old, old woman, sarcasm, transformation, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

0

2 months ago

birthday, bit, body, embryonic, embryonic fluid, fluid, humor, humorous, i, joke, quirky, satire, traditionalist, unconventional
Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

0

2 months ago

addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests
I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

1

2 months ago

baby, born, doing, doing good, good, hope, hospital, humor, i
My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

0

2 months ago

again, cat, cigarettes, excuses, frustration, humor, pet, sick, smell, smells
Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

attraction, cheeseburger, craving, crush, food, humor, humor quote, i, looks, love, romance, someone
Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

0

2 months ago

Boston, English, humor, kid, little, misunderstanding, mom, plane, speak, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

68 shares on X this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Spotted on Twitch:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Trending via Snapchat:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Breaking via Messenger:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Making waves on Instagram:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Live now on WeChat:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨