Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

46 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Trending via Instagram:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Making waves on Discord:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Just landed via Slack:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

6 months ago

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if this legendary linguist and philosopher had a dollar for every time someone made a hungry joke about his name, he could probably buy himself a lifetime supply of linguine 🍝😄. I guess when your last name rhymes with "yummy," it's bound to stir up some hunger pangs! #NoamNomNom 🤣🍴

chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

46 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Trending via Snapchat:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Live now on YouTube:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Just shared via Messenger:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴