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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Trending via Reddit:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Going viral on WeChat:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Trending via YouTube:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Going viral on Pinterest:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

2 months ago

0

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if this legendary linguist and philosopher had a dollar for every time someone made a hungry joke about his name, he could probably buy himself a lifetime supply of linguine 🍝😄. I guess when your last name rhymes with "yummy," it's bound to stir up some hunger pangs! #NoamNomNom 🤣🍴

chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

0

2 months ago

age, forgetfulness, humor, humor about age, loss, lost, myself, self-deprecating, time, whoops
Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

0

2 months ago

clothing, gravity, humor, pant, physic, struggle, times
If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, lesson, life, me, money, need, thing
Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, budgeting, camping, Europe, financial, going, humor, me, planning, summer, summer vacation, travel, travel planning, vacation
You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

0

2 months ago

achievement, age, charles, dream, humor, inspiration, old, persistence, prince, Prince Charles, wait
I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

0

2 months ago

ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

32 shares on WeChat this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

57 shares on X this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Going viral on X:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Trending via Messenger:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Just shared via Discord:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Just shared via Instagram:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

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