Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the fine print of marriage: 'Ears not included.' 🤣 Who knew you had to pay extra for listening skills? 👂💸 #MarriageSurprises"

ears, expectations, humor, husband, joke, marriage, me, nobody, separately, sold, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

2 months ago

comedy, dad, dad joke, ever, followers, growth, humor, i, joke, jokes, media, sharing, size, social, social media
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

2 months ago

food, fruit, funny observation, fur, humor, kiwi, misunderstanding, observation, potato, thought, time
I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

2 months ago

advance, change, changes, control, flexibility, flow, go with the flow, humor, organization, person, personality, planning, schedule, well
Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

1 month ago

2020, Covid, death, died, hell, humor, i, irony, maybe, pandemic
Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

2 months ago

bad, door, great, humor, neighbor, neighbors, next, people
Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

1 week ago

dear, financial, financial humor, humor, money, please, pregnant, wallet, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Twitch this month:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Spreading quickly via X:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Spotted on Threads:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Live now on Reddit:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨