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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Trending via Twitch:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Trending via Slack:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Spotted on Messenger:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Live now on Telegram:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Seen just now on YouTube:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

2 months ago

0

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious allure of the pre-dawn kitchen table…where dads go to contemplate the meaning of life (or maybe just figure out how many cups of coffee it takes to function). ☕️🤔 Rise and shine, it's time for some quality early morning pondering!

4AM, contemplation, dad, hour, humor, i, just, kitchen, kitchen table, know, morning, morning routine, routine, sit, table, used, wake, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

0

2 months ago

anyone, humor, i, love, miss, money, relaxation, sleep, sleeping, spend
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

3 weeks ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, back, behavior, cat, communication, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, meow, pet, social, today
Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

0

1 week ago

answer, avoidance, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, joke, jokes, know, number, people, phone, social, social interaction, unknown, unknown number
Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

0

4 weeks ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, confirmation, dream, dreams, just, real, reality, scientist, scientists
I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

0

3 days ago

doing, humor, i, joke, laziness, love, minute, procrastination, research, science, study, stuff

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

62 shares on X this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Spotted on YouTube:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Just landed via YouTube:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Just shared via X:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Spotted on YouTube:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

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