Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I disagree with my politics.

Trending via Discord:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Going viral on Twitch:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Just shared via X:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Seen just now on Discord:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, Oasis wrote the soundtrack… but who knew it would get stuck on replay forever? 🎸🔄😂"

90s, band, cultural, cultural impact, generation, good, impact, just, music, nostalgia, Oasis, rock, song, songs, soundtrack, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

attitude, bigger, confidence, humor, personality, science, size, smaller, woman
Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

0

2 months ago

backflip, dream, forever, funny dream, just, memory, show, someone, stranger, surprise, unexpected, unexpected visitor, visitor
Hold on, let me overthink this.

0

2 months ago

decision, humor, let, me, overthink, procrastination, thought
“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

0

2 months ago

acquaintance, fire, frustration, humor, i, know, media, people, set, social, social media, someone
When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

0

2 months ago

catching, clumsiness, competition, dropping, event, humor, me, Olympics, phone, shine, sport
“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

0

3 weeks ago

20, frustration, full-time, got, hours, humor, man, management, max, ridiculous, should, stuff, time, time management, work, work hours, workload

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

26 shares on Discord this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

12 shares on X this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Just landed via Facebook:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Just shared via X:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Spotted on WeChat:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just landed via Twitch:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Making waves on Slack:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Just shared via Reddit:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Hold on, let me overthink this.

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨