Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.