Commentary:
Falling for someone as an adult really is just nature's way of reminding us we never outgrew the awkward teenage phase 🤦♀️❤️
My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.
Commentary:
Goals so big the kids gotta clock in early! 😂🏡👶💼
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
Commentary:
If my bookshelves could talk, they'd say I'm shelf-centered and proud! 📚🤣🔇
Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.
Commentary:
Sounds like an advanced relationship skills class! 😂💍❤️🔥
It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?
Commentary:
Trying to get life advice from someone who's just as lost as the rest of us is like getting GPS directions from a raccoon! 🦝🗺️
I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.
Commentary:
When you realize even FIFA has better plot twists than a soap opera 😂⚽🔄
The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.
Commentary:
Looks like the economy isn't the only thing feeling a little… flat 📉😅
The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.
Commentary:
When you’re starring in your own romcom, but nobody told the other person 🍿😅🔥
Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.
Commentary:
When you're tipsy and ready to mingle but your only date is a bowl of chips 🍟😂#PartyOfOne
If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.
Commentary:
I guess it'd be the first case of mutually assured soccer destruction! ⚽💥😂