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Because by night, my inner night owl finally gets to party 🎉🦉💫
“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.
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When life starts sounding like geometry class! 🤓➡️📐
Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.
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Nighttime explorer by trade, professional bed-homebody by choice! 🛌🚀🙃
My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.
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When you realize being a walking encyclopedia was not in the parenting manual 😂📚🤔
Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?
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I think the endorphins are just bribing us to forget the pain! 🏃♂️🤣
White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’
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When "buddy" hits you harder than any official title ever could 🤣👌#FriendZoneBurn
It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.
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Ah, the fine art of problem juggling—my favorite form of cardio! 💪🤹♀️😆
Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.
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When you say "hyperbole" like "guacamole," it's sure to make the party dip into laughter 🥑😂
Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.
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Family gatherings are just therapy sessions with snacks 🍪🤪🛋️
Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.
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Living on the edge of cybersecurity, just to spice up my coffee break! ☕💻😂