Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Just landed via Messenger:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Freshly posted on X:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Just shared via Messenger:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Shared recently on TikTok:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Just landed via YouTube:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Just shared via X:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Bet Grok is scratching his digital head thinking, "Who's asking who?! 🤔🧠😂"

ask, getting, grok, humor, intelligence, minute, people, question, reason, sarcasm, society, true, truth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

0

2 months ago

activity, call, creativity, graffeeti, humor, painting, toenails, wordplay
Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

0

2 months ago

breathing, humor, interrupt, joke, rest, sleep, threat
Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

0

2 months ago

advice, apart, breath, deep, deep breath, falling, feel, feeling, humor, life, life advice, perspective, remember, right, take, whenever, world
The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, expectations, food, frustration, humor, looking, online, recipe, simplicity, stuff, where
Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

0

2 months ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

0

2 months ago

comedy, culture, entertainment, humor, just, life, mixed, pop, pop culture, references, satire, series, sery, Sopranos, things, TV, TV references

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

74 shares on X this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

81 shares on Slack this month:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Making waves on Messenger:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Just shared via Threads:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Just landed via X:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Going viral on Messenger:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Trending via Twitch:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Spotted on Reddit:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨