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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Spotted on Slack:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Just landed via YouTube:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Just shared via Instagram:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Going viral on Telegram:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Going viral on Instagram:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, when life gives you lemons, trade them in for a nice wedge of cheese. After all, who needs people when you have a fridge full of happiness waiting for you? Cheese: the ultimate comfort food for when humans just can't cut it."

cheese, choice, food, happiness, humor, life, people, sadness, simple, simple life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

74 shares on Discord this month:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Shared recently on Slack:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Trending via WeChat:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Just shared via YouTube:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Live now on Discord:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

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