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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Just shared via Telegram:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Live now on Telegram:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Shared recently on Threads:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Live now on Instagram:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Shared recently on Discord:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

2 months ago

0

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, Pinterest algorithm, you generous soul! 🍊🧡 Like a dad on a mission to make you into a human orange, one pin at a time! 🤣👨‍👧 Who needs variety when you can have a fridge full of oranges, am I right? 🍊🤷‍♂️ Keep those virtual citrus wonders coming, dear algorithm! 🧡👏 #OrangeOverload #PinterestDadGoals

after, algorithm, comparison, dad, enjoy, excess, family, fridge, humor, loving, oranges, Pinterest, seeing, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, day, even, Friday, humor, only, sarcasm, Thursday, time, week
The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

0

2 months ago

30s, age, boring, hottest, hottest thing, humor, man, thing
Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

0

6 days ago

account, authentication, before, code, humor, just, login, microsoft, need, notification, OMG, security, send, sign, sign in, signed, someone, technology
I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

0

2 months ago

eye, eyes, heat, humor, i, ID, just, laser, laser eye, lazy, something, soup, superhero, too
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chore, dishes, doing, dynamics, embarrassment, family, family dynamics, household, household chore, humor, mom, moment, relatable, relatable humor, sink
If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

0

2 months ago

away, charts, confidence, data, destroy, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, intimidation, prepared, research, run, sarcasm, say, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

92 shares on Reddit this month:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,516

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Live now on Reddit:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Making waves on Slack:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Spotted on YouTube:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

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