Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🌹🍷 Roses are pink, but my mood is in sync! Time to grab a drink and let the worries sink! 🥂 Cheers to relaxation and enjoying the moment! 🌸

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

0

2 months ago

accident, car, cars, horn, Lil, should, silly, smaller, something, sorry
You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

0

2 months ago

activity, always, aquarium, date, dating, dating signs, fun, fun activity, going, man, museum, new, new relationship, outing, relationship, signs, someone, tell
It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

0

2 months ago

desire, fashion, humor, just, making, shoe, shopping, size, want
Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

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2 months ago

alone, alone time, anyone, apps, delete, detox, detoxification, digital, digital detox, digital detoxification, girl, happiness, health, isolation, mental, mental health, phone, self-care, solitude, sometimes, speak, time, true, week
Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, irony, participation, perspective, problem, sarcasm, self-awareness, solution
Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

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2 months ago

big, big sack, claus, holiday, humor, joke, marriage, married, misses, Misses Claus, only, sack, Santa

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

43 shares on Discord this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Trending via Slack:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Breaking via TikTok:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Spotted on TikTok:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨