Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🌹🍷 Roses are pink, but my mood is in sync! Time to grab a drink and let the worries sink! 🥂 Cheers to relaxation and enjoying the moment! 🌸

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

0

5 months ago

beat, chess, competition, computer, humor, kickboxing, match, me, once, sport, technology
All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

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2 months ago

am, communication, expression, humor, i, introvert, podcast, saying, shy, transformation
Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

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2 months ago

beauty, confidence, delay, fashion, glow-up, haircut, humor, i, iconic, just, rugged, self-care, self-improvement, sometimes, style
Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

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2 months ago

chef, conversation, gordon, Gordon Ramsay, humor, me, only, ramsay, relationship, sarcasm, talking
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

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5 months ago

bisexual, confusing, confusion, every, frequency, humor, once, relationship, sexual, term, twice, week
Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

0

2 months ago

appetite, big, craving, food, forget, forklift, fun, humor, i, joke, joke about food, mini, needs, oversized, pizza, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

75 shares on Discord this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Live now on TikTok:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Spotted on X:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Live now on Pinterest:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Seen just now on Slack:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨