Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Making waves on YouTube:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Going viral on X:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Spotted on Messenger:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Making waves on Messenger:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Spotted on Instagram:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Making waves on YouTube:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Shared recently on Discord:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you’re both trying to avoid a conversation and accidentally starting a duel 😂😅🙈

combo, crazy, expression, face, funny combo, humor, mean, mean face, personality, personality trait, resting, resting face, shy, trait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

0

2 months ago

best, communication, dying, everyone, humor, i, interaction, irony, kill, kindness, personality, sarcasm, social, social interaction
If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, danger, dead, ever, found, humor, i, irony, nature, pet, trying, wildlife, woods
At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

0

2 months ago

age, break, fear, heartbreak, hip, humor, life, priorities
I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

0

5 months ago

caught, cream, diet, dieting, eat, eating, food, going, humor, husband, i, ice, ice cream, last, last night, night, relationship, second, spouse, together
Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, binoculars, distance, everyone, fun, fun activity, memory, nice, nostalgia, perspective, remember, upside, upside down
Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

0

3 months ago

ahead, doing, grammar, humor, joke, know, mistake, punctuation, semi-colon, semicolon, writing, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Spreading quickly via X:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just shared via Facebook:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Just shared via Threads:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Just landed via Reddit:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨