Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Going viral on Threads:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Breaking via X:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Trending via Facebook:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sundays: the official day for pajama diplomacy and responsibility-free lounging! 🛋️😴"

casual, humor, pants, place, relaxation, responsibility, Sunday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

0

3 months ago

activity, favorite, favorite activity, humor, laziness, mattress, relaxation, sleep
Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

0

2 months ago

car, gas, humor, lord, prayer, put, request, stomach, take
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

0

2 months ago

calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

0

3 months ago

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices
Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

0

2 months ago

advice, apps, directions, humor, just, map, mean, note, paved, road, self, travel
In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

1

5 months ago

button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

88 shares on Discord this month:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

18 shares on Threads this month:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mike is short for Micycle.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

54 shares on X this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Shared recently on TikTok:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Live now on Messenger:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Broadcasted on X:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Trending via Reddit:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Going bananas on TikTok:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Trending via YouTube:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨