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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Freshly posted on X:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Breaking via Twitch:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Going bananas on Messenger:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Trending via Messenger:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Spotted on Reddit:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

2 months ago

0

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

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Commentary:
Balancing between nerddom and nonsense? Now that's an art form! 🎨🧠 Whether you're lost in meme lore or diving into quantum physics, mastering the switch is basically the Jedi mind trick of the modern age. 🤓💥 Keep honing that skill—you're basically a brain gym rat! 🐹💪

acquire, brainrot, deep, humor, intellectual, intellectual talk, only, personality, personality trait, skill, talk, trait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

0

2 months ago

activity, chair, desk, fast, hate, humor, imagine, just, me, office, spinning, work
Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, bedtime, brain, exactly, fall, humor, insomnia, relaxation, sleep, stop, thinking, thoughts, time
Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

0

2 months ago

bitter, conflict, humor, irony, person, relationship, remember
Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

0

2 months ago

animal, creativity, fear, humor, imagine, necklace, scary, shark, teeth, tooth
Eat like your treadmill is watching.

0

2 months ago

dieting, eat, exercise, fitness, health, humor, motivation, motivation humor, treadmill, watching
I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

0

2 months ago

activity, addicted, addiction, communication, everyone, good, humor, i, joke, just, know, listener, listening, media, online, online activity, say, social, social media, technology, Twitter, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Trending via X:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Just shared via WeChat:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Just shared via Twitch:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Making waves on X:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

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