Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Trending via WeChat:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Going viral on Discord:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Going viral on X:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Making waves on YouTube:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Breaking via YouTube:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

2 months ago

0

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Balancing between nerddom and nonsense? Now that's an art form! 🎨🧠 Whether you're lost in meme lore or diving into quantum physics, mastering the switch is basically the Jedi mind trick of the modern age. 🤓💥 Keep honing that skill—you're basically a brain gym rat! 🐹💪

acquire, brainrot, deep, humor, intellectual, intellectual talk, only, personality, personality trait, skill, talk, trait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

0

2 months ago

believe, humor, i, internet, misinformation, online, read, sarcasm, skepticism, somewhere, true, truth
I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

0

6 months ago

1893, beloved, cooking, dramatic, duel, heartbreak, historical, i, just, lost, lost love, love, mine, never, soup, while, whispering
Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

0

2 months ago

back, humor, just, later, life, opportunity, patience, timing
I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

0

2 months ago

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

0

4 weeks ago

alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still
Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

0

2 months ago

ChatGPT, fact, family, father-in-law, humor, jokes, keeps, making, making stuff up, passing, stuff, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

47 shares on Messenger this month:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Just landed via YouTube:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Going viral on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Spotted on YouTube:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Shared recently on YouTube:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

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