Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Spotted on Threads:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

2 months ago

0

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the billionaires are playing a real-life game of "Who Wants to Be a Gazillionaire?" and it seems like they're winning! 🤑💰 Maybe it's time for everyone else to start hoarding those spare pennies like they're rare diamonds! 💎 #KeepTheChange

billionaire, commentary, irony, much, nothing, people, satire, social, social commentary, too, too much, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, irony, joke, problem, relatable, sharing, silence, suffer
If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

0

2 months ago

animation, anything, cartoons, cliff, comedy, fall, humor, irony, little, satire, slapstick, taught, umbrella, us, uselessness
How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

0

2 months ago

activity, e-scooter, fun, fun activity, funny situation, humor, perception, reaction, respect, situation, social, social perception, someone, unexpected
The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

0

2 months ago

actually, flag, humor, joke, review, single, star, state, symbol, Texas
They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

0

2 months ago

attire, costume, dress, expectation, home, humor, inappropriate, job, say, send, should, stormtrooper, suit, want, work, workplace
God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

0

2 months ago

bad, bad idea, charge, charged, free, free will, God, humor, i, idea, irony, philosophy, religion, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

76 shares on X this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

41 shares on Discord this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Seen just now on Discord:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Going viral on Snapchat:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Live now on Discord:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Breaking via TikTok:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Just landed via TikTok:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Spotted on Messenger:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Just shared via Discord:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

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