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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Just landed via Telegram:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Going viral on X:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Trending via Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side… it's just fertilized differently! 💩🌱😂"

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

0

2 months ago

capable, chew, doing, food, humor, listening, lot, people, things
I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

0

2 months ago

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads
Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

0

2 months ago

cigarette, coke, diet, Diet Coke, dieting, fridge, humor, just, sarcasm, soda
Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

0

2 months ago

absence, humor, intelligence, just, missing, people, screw, toolbox, whole
I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

0

2 months ago

computer, connection, history, i, internet, noise, nostalgia, remember, screaming, should, technology, used, warning
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, humor, i, memory, repetition, terrible

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Shared recently on Threads:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Making waves on Messenger:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Going bananas on Slack:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Live now on Snapchat:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Shared recently on Slack:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨