Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Trending via Reddit:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Going viral on Threads:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Breaking via Reddit:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Breaking via Instagram:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Trending via YouTube:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Going bananas on Telegram:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Live now on X:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your heart says "carrot sticks," but your soul screams "chocolate cake!" 🍰❤️😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

36 shares on Slack this month:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

96 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Live now on Telegram:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Just landed via TikTok:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Trending via Twitch:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Live now on Pinterest:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Making waves on WeChat:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I am cassette tape years old.

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