Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Shared recently on Threads:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Spotted on X:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Going viral on X:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Just landed via Telegram:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Freshly posted on X:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Just landed via Telegram:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Going viral on Discord:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Going viral on Snapchat:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My password security system: Fort Knox-level password, post-it note-level secrecy! 🔐📝😅

am, computer, humor, i, IT, just, note, password, post-it, post-it note, security, technology, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

0

2 months ago

advice, away, faster, getting, humor, keep, kids, life, life advice, older, parenting, problems, running
Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

0

2 months ago

creativity, etch, Etch a Sketch, head, humor, mind, right, shaking, shaking my head, sketch, thoughts
Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

0

2 months ago

appearance, cat, devil, hairless, hairless cat, humor, joke, possession
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

2 weeks ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing
Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

0

2 months ago

culture, disappointment, entertainment, exactly, expectation, humor, joke, know, lol, movie, Netflix, pop, pop culture, streaming
Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, doctor, humor, image, life, negativity, office, scale, self-care

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

33 shares on Threads this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

30 shares on X this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

26 shares on X this month:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Trending via Telegram:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Just shared via X:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Just shared via Slack:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Making waves on Messenger:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨