Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Spotted on Threads:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Making waves on Facebook:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Trending via Telegram:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mirror, mirror on the wall, why is my life a sitcom after all? 😂🤷‍♀️✨

appearance, beauty, humor, personality, prettier, weirdness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, color, confusion, difference, even, fear, gray, grey, humor, i, know, language, scared, too
My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

0

2 months ago

amazing, center, doing, flowers, garden, gardening, humor, i, left, outdoor, where, year
Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

0

2 months ago

age, career, career change, change, drug, drug kingpin, high, high school teacher, humor, i, inspiration, kingpin, old, possibility, remember, school, teacher, think, too, walter, Walter White, white
Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

0

2 months ago

babymaking, benny, Benny Hill, hill, humor, music, playful, song, theme, theme song
Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

0

4 months ago

chair, doing, doing nothing, grandparent, grandparents, humor, incredible, nature, nothing, observation, relaxation, right, sitting, staring, wisdom
They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

0

2 months ago

act, airport, before, behavior, etiquette, humor, know, people, public, should, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

98 shares on YouTube this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

39 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Just shared via Facebook:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Breaking via Slack:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Going bananas on Slack:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨