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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

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Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,748

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Shared recently on X:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Trending via Pinterest:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Live now on TikTok:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Live now on Pinterest:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Sleep and I have a 'it's complicated' relationship! 😴💔😂"

humor, ID, insomnia, procrastination, rest, sleep, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

2 months ago
advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, irony, life, live, notes, sarcasm, sorry, take
It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

1 month ago
animal, fan, heatwave, hot, humor, i, just, nature, nut, nuts, saw, squirrel, summer
“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

1 month ago
bill, frustration, gratitude, humor, i, paid, payment, sarcasm, shut, thanks
You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

1 month ago
ask, back, expectation, funny situation, humor, i, joke, mad, massage, meatball, roll, situation, surprise, Swedish, Swedish massage
They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

1 month ago
baby, comfortable, diaper, dress, humor, job, say, uncomfortable, want
Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

1 month ago
connection, friend, friendship, humor, internet, internet friend, met, never, never met, nobody, online, online relationship, relationship, support

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Live now on Threads:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Just landed via Twitch:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Just landed via X:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

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Activity Log ✨

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

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The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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