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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Spotted on Discord:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this post needs some urgent CPR—Comment, Post, React! 😂❤️📈

concern, engagement, grave, humor, irony, likes, media, post, produce, social, social media, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, humor, ID, just, life, life situation, love, mindset, once, overthinking, situation, thought, underthink, wish
If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

0

2 months ago

advice, bathroom, busy, drama, drink, humor, life, life advice, looking, priorities, time, too, water
Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

0

2 months ago

arm, arms, clap, dead, dinosaur, fact, funny fact, humor, irony, people, short, short arm, T-Rex, think
I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

0

2 months ago

embrace, flaw, flaws, humor, i, joke, order, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, self-acceptance, tried
It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

0

2 months ago

argue, baby, crazy, daily, day, every, first year, humor, life, parenting, year
One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

0

2 months ago

comfort, cool, day, fashion, favorite, grocery, grocery store, humor, next, pants, realization, realize, store, sweatpants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

32 shares on X this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

73 shares on X this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

18 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

That fight could’ve been an email.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Making waves on Facebook:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Just landed via Reddit:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Just landed via Facebook:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Going viral on Instagram:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Going viral on Slack:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Just landed via Instagram:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Making waves on Threads:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨