Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Spotted on Slack:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Just landed via Reddit:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Trending via Telegram:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Going bananas on TikTok:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Just landed via Messenger:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Going viral on Discord:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

0
There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this post needs some urgent CPR—Comment, Post, React! 😂❤️📈

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Threads this month:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

43 shares on X this month:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Weirdos gonna weird.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Shared recently on YouTube:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Spotted on Reddit:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Going viral on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴