Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Spotted on Reddit:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Trending via Twitch:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Spotted on Discord:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Making waves on Instagram:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Making waves on Messenger:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Live now on Twitch:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they accidentally got off at the wrong bus stop! 🚌🤔👀

doubt, humor, i, joke, man, men, sarcasm, skepticism, three, wise, Wise Man

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

3 months ago

challenge, Christmas, family, humor, kids, ornaments, parent, parenting, put, rearrange, thing, tree
I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

4 months ago

animal, away, beef, bring, cat, cat food, cow, ego, food, house, humor, i, kind, need, pet, point, stay
The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

2 months ago

adventure, Africa, humor, i, last, me, missionary, relationship, remote, remote village, time, travel, try, village, wanted
Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

2 months ago

association, color, color association, comparison, explain, flavor, flavor comparison, grape, grape flavor, grape soda, humor, humor in taste, i, know, perception, purple, sensory, sensory perception, soda, taste
You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

2 months ago

activity, always, aquarium, date, dating, dating signs, fun, fun activity, going, man, museum, new, new relationship, outing, relationship, signs, someone, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

44 shares on Slack this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Going viral on WeChat:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Just landed via TikTok:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Just landed via Slack:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨