Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Just landed via Slack:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Spotted on Messenger:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Going viral on Facebook:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Shared recently on YouTube:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going bananas on Telegram:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote dismissing the idea of three wise men with playful skepticism.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they accidentally got off at the wrong bus stop! 🚌🤔👀

doubt, humor, i, joke, man, men, sarcasm, skepticism, three, wise, Wise Man

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

1 month ago

addiction, dry, dry phone, humor, much, phone, screen, screen time, someone, technology, time, too, usage
Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

3 weeks ago

apology, communication, enough, excuse, hang, humor, i, know, socializing, sorry, vocabulary, words
I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

1 month ago

am, bed, fatigue, humor, i, irony, lunch, night, rest, tired, wish, work
I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

3 weeks ago

boomer, Boomers, ellipsis, everything, feels, gap, generation, generation gap, good, humor, i, style, text, texting, texting style, understand, why
Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

3 weeks ago

apology, bad, bad day, bad year, bro, day, distraction, having, humor, just, sorry, year, zoning, zoning out
You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

3 weeks ago

behind, chore, daily, daily task, day, every, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, still, task

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on TikTok this month:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Spotted on TikTok:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Just shared via Telegram:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Trending via Pinterest:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Keep the laugh going 😂

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨