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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: โ€œCome on in.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

Happy return of โ€œyes of course itโ€™s bedtime, see how dark it is outsideโ€ to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of lifeโ€™s greatest challenges.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1659 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,821

Funny Quotes Topics

14,651

Funny Quotes Images

11,821

Updated

29 seconds ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying โ€˜we should see other peopleโ€™

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Breaking via Instagram:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I canโ€™t afford to hire me right now.

Breaking via WeChat:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Seen just now on X:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Just shared via Threads:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers โ€œNo thanks, I had lunch yesterday.โ€

Trending via Slack:

You know youโ€™re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Just shared via Instagram:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal rule of traffic: Blame the person in front and proudly claim innocence in the line of chaos! ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜…"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1659 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,821

Funny Quotes Topics

14,651

Funny Quotes Images

11,821

Updated

29 seconds ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dudeโ€™s heart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone who doesnโ€™t get on my nerves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

What if i just replied โ€œnot now kitten daddyโ€™s busyโ€ to all my work emails?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Trending via Discord:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Breaking via Slack:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Going viral on Threads:

Iโ€™m not shy, Iโ€™m holding back my awesomeness so I donโ€™t intimidate you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Making waves on TikTok:

Life hack: you donโ€™t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Making waves on WeChat:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

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