Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Broadcasted on X:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Trending via Slack:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Making waves on Slack:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Spotted on Discord:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal rule of traffic: Blame the person in front and proudly claim innocence in the line of chaos! 🚗💨😅"

commuting, driver, driving, fault, front, frustration, guy, humor, impatience, jam, road, traffic, traffic jam

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

0

2 months ago

brilliant, brilliant time, Christmas, daily, daily struggle, day, else, every, everyone, fact, hard, having, hide, holiday, humor, loneliness, people, relationship, single, struggle, time, us
Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

0

2 months ago

advice, difficulty, follow, giving, good, humor, irony, own, people, self-help
If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

0

2 months ago

chapstick, coma, ever, humor, lips, put, request, self-care
My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

0

2 months ago

bills, door, front, front door, humor, joke, just, protection, security, system, unpaid
I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, bad, bad behavior, behavior, color, equality, humor, i, judge, judgment, me, need, orientation, people, religion, sarcasm, sexual, sexual orientation, skin, skin color
Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

0

2 months ago

before, coffee, humor, morning, morning routine, personality, real, real you, routine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Just shared via Instagram:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Live now on Discord:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Making waves on YouTube:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Breaking via Facebook:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Avocado is just green butter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨