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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,840

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Shared recently on X:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Just shared via Instagram:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Spotted on Twitch:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal rule of traffic: Blame the person in front and proudly claim innocence in the line of chaos! 🚗💨😅"

commuting, driver, driving, fault, front, frustration, guy, humor, impatience, jam, road, traffic, traffic jam

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

1 month ago
fun, invent, invention, leisure, long-lasting, relaxation, should, time, time off, weekend
Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

1 month ago
awesome, February, getting, humor, January, month, over, reward, rude, sarcasm, winter
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

5 months ago
actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone
I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

2 weeks ago
attitude, friend, friends, here, humor, just, noise, statement
Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

1 month ago
always, arguing, black, black sheep, corner, culture, digital, digital culture, humor, internet, media, online, online platform, platform, satire, self-argument, sheep, social, social media, tech, tech humor, Twitter, web
People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

1 month ago
aubergine, bin, fact, food, fridge, humor, mistake, people, should

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Trending via WeChat:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Breaking via Instagram:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Making waves on Messenger:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Going viral on X:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

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Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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