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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Seen just now on X:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Live now on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Trending via WeChat:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Going viral on Instagram:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

2 months ago

0

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living in the future feels like being in a sci-fi movie, but I'm the unpaid intern! 🚀🤖💸

alive, derogatory, exclamation, expression, humor, irony, life, modern, modern life, sarcasm, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

0

2 months ago

aggression, fact, facts, grudge, grudges, hold, humor, i, just, memory, remember, sarcasm
Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

0

2 months ago

adult, cook, cooking, dinner, life, night, single
“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

0

2 months ago

grace, humor, irony, me, never, self-deprecation, words
Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

0

2 months ago

back, both, change, channel, childhood, day, exaggeration, humor, nostalgia, technology, TV, uphill, walk, ways
The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

0

2 months ago

activity, everything, excel, game, games, humor, kill, microsoft, moves, types, video, video game
What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

0

2 months ago

confusion, day, disbelief, frustration, humor, just, mean, Monday, right, time, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

31 shares on Threads this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,370

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Trending via Slack:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Live now on Slack:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Freshly posted on X:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Making waves on Instagram:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

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