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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

57 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Just shared via TikTok:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Seen just now on Discord:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Reported on LinkedIn:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

2 months ago

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

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Commentary:
Looks like coffee is the ultimate life hack! ☕️🤔 Without it, you're basically asking, "How do I function without my trusty liquid motivation?" 😂🌀 Seems like some problems just can't be caffeinated away! 🚫☕️ #WakeUpCall

awake, being, caffeine, coffee, drink, everyday, everyday struggle, humor, humor quote, okay, people, problem, solve, struggle, wakefulness

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

57 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Going viral on YouTube:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Going viral on Messenger:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Just landed via Messenger:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Just landed via WeChat:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Just shared via YouTube:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

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