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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Making waves on WeChat:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Just shared via X:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Going viral on Discord:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Going bananas on Instagram:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

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When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?
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Commentary:
Looks like coffee is the ultimate life hack! ☕️🤔 Without it, you're basically asking, "How do I function without my trusty liquid motivation?" 😂🌀 Seems like some problems just can't be caffeinated away! 🚫☕️ #WakeUpCall

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

27 shares on X this month:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

All I think about is death and sex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Breaking via Threads:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Making waves on TikTok:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Trending via Slack:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Going viral on Messenger:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

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