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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Going viral on TikTok:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Just landed via Reddit:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Going viral on Discord:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Trending via Messenger:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

0
You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.
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Commentary:
"When you realize their secret is saying no to fries while my secret is… extra fries 😂🍟 #Oops"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

48 shares on Slack this month:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

18 shares on X this month:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The government even made aliens boring.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Making waves on YouTube:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Going viral on Instagram:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Seen just now on Reddit:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Just shared via Discord:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Going viral on Discord:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

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