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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Trending via TikTok:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Breaking via Instagram:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Going viral on TikTok:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Trending via Messenger:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Making waves on Discord:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

23 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning up the heat like it's a witch's version of a BBQ! 🌡️🧙‍♀️🔥

boil, boiling, cauldron, every, high, humor, magic, potion, spell, witch, young, young witch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

2 months ago

empty, food, full, humor, just, life, live, nourishment, stomach
People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

2 months ago

easily, Facebook, Google, humor, i, irony, laziness, me, media, myself, online, people, question, social, social media, tell, thing
I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

2 months ago

backwards, boobytrap, humor, i, joke, just, partyboob, play, play on words, realization, spells, wordplay, words
The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

2 months ago

attractive, behavior, funny behavior, head, hitting, humor, irony, man, most, own, self-deprecation, stupid, thing
Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

2 months ago

activity, away, focus, humor, job, laundry, procrastination, quit
If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

2 months ago

animal, bowl, communication, humor, just, misunderstanding, pets, put, should, sign, store, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

56 shares on Slack this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

57 shares on X this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Spotted on X:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Live now on Snapchat:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Spotted on X:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨