Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Trending via YouTube:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Just shared via Telegram:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Making waves on Facebook:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Breaking via Slack:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Never knew adulthood meant earning a PhD in kitchenology! 🧼🍽️🔄

adult, always, being, chore, cleaning, daily, daily chore, day, gone, i, kitchen, matter, never, responsibility, takeout, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

5 months ago

commentary, days, humor, i, irony, judgmental, just, looking, observation, people, social, social commentary, tell, too
After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

2 months ago

after, fresh, hatred, humor, i, job, reenergized, return, vacation, work
I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

2 months ago

depot, DIY, home, Home Depot, humor, joke, man, masculinity, real, surgery, vasectomy
Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

4 months ago

bag, bottle, experience, inconvenience, leak, leaking, top, water, water bottle, worst, worst experience
I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

2 months ago

contain, craziness, expression, humor, i, lid, personality, popping, self-control
It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, basket, chores, daily, daily life, filled, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, laundry, laundry basket, life, money, nice, relatable, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Dear Santa, Money!

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

49 shares on WeChat this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

22 shares on Threads this month:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Breaking via Messenger:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Making waves on YouTube:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Seen just now on Discord:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Live now on Pinterest:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨