Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Freshly posted on X:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Spotted on TikTok:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Trending via Reddit:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Breaking via Telegram:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Shared recently on Discord:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Trending via Discord:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the fun gets going, my funds get going… going… gone! 💸😂🤦‍♂️

adulting, financial, fun, funds, humor, joke, life, money, only, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

0

2 months ago

boss, boundary, communication, humor, i, office, rejection, responsibility, tell, want, work
We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

0

2 months ago

1969, ambition, election, every, exploration, humor, i, man, me, moon, president, promise, put, satire, space, space exploration, stop
Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

0

2 months ago

agriculture, booming, bot, bot farm, dying, farm, farming, humor, industry, technology
I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

0

1 month ago

8, absolutely, anything, bed, bedtime, before, except, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, i, irony, joke, need, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, wake
Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

0

2 months ago

Dick, dislike, guy, humor, joke, name, nickname, Richard, wordplay
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

0

5 months ago

beat, chess, competition, computer, humor, kickboxing, match, me, once, sport, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

27 shares on Slack this month:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Just shared via TikTok:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Spotted on Slack:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Making waves on YouTube:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Going viral on Slack:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Just shared via Instagram:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Breaking via WeChat:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨