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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Making waves on YouTube:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Just shared via WeChat:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Trending via TikTok:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Going viral on Threads:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Shared recently on Slack:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

2 months ago

0

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it looks like we've been inadvertently training our future robot overlords all along! Who knew that our endless scrolling and meme-sharing were preparing AI to take over the world one cat video at a time? Be careful what you post online, you might be contributing to the rise of our digital overlords!

artificial, artificial intelligence, humor, intelligence, internet, technology, work, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

0

3 months ago

9-5, 95, advice, fraud, gone, humor, hustle, job, life, life advice, little, only, side, survival, survive, work, world
Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

0

3 months ago

bio, dating, girlfriend, height, hope, humor, me, profile, put, relationship
Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

0

3 months ago

before, came, everyone, flirtation, forget, humor, intention, making, me, memory, romantic
In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

0

5 months ago

confidence, disagree, disagreement, experience, humor, me, opinion, people, sarcasm, wrong
I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

0

2 months ago

humor, i, identify, identity, jackson, joke, michael, Michael Jackson, pronoun, pronouns, wordplay
Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, humor, i, longing, miss, relationship, rest, sleep, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Slack this month:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

73 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Making waves on Discord:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Trending via Discord:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Trending via Reddit:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Seen just now on X:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

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