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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Trending via Twitch:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Going viral on X:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Trending via YouTube:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Live now on Facebook:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Going viral on Threads:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Spotted on X:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Trending via Discord:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.
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Commentary:
Well, looks like those fancy almonds have been lying to us all along—it's just tree’s version of a home-cooked snack! 🌰😂 Next time you crunch on one, remember you're basically gnawing on a tiny piece of tree furniture. Who knew? 🌳🤭

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Making waves on TikTok:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Shared recently on X:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Live now on Reddit:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just shared via Threads:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

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