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Balancing epic adventures and solo movie nights—saving Middle-earth and dodging the population crisis one marathon at a time!
Author Archives: slickboy
When you get to a certain age, your body becomes so disrespectful.
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Ah, yes, I'm at that age where my knees crack louder than my morning coffee machine.
First in my bloodline to scroll Twitter for hours.
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Breaking family records one tweet at a time!
Due to personal reasons, I will not be reincarnating on Earth again.
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Guess you're officially checking out of Hotel Planet Earth! 🌍🚪😂
Why do DJs always act like their knobs are hot?
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Turning those knobs like they're handling a volcano on a disco floor! 🔥🎛️😎
Explain it to me like I’m a Neanderthal.
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Me grunt, me no understand. Use more pictures! 🦧🖼️💡
Squirrels always look and act like it’s their first day being a squirrel.
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When you're trying to adult but secretly have no idea what's going on 🤪🐿️✨
Born to read books, forced to be a participating member of society.
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I'd trade my social skills for more bookshelf space any day! 📚😂✌️
It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.
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Adulting: where the only prerequisite is realizing you're your own plot twist 😅🤔🔮
My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.
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Adding cross emoji and Bible verse to internet persona: ✅ Now to leave wholesome comments and spread kindness! 😇🙏📖