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🏆🏡 Training for the gold medal in couch curling and fridge foraging! 🍔🍕🥇
Author Archives: slickboy
Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!
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When did life switch to "Extreme Morning Edition"? 😂⏰💤
Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.
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The bullet is now in a witness protection program! 😅🔫🕶️
People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.
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When "never" turns into their new favorite hobby! 😂🤦♂️✨
The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep
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Finally found the spellbook for peaceful slumber—no potions required! 💤🧙♂️✨
The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.
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That's why they're always striking up a conversation! 🎳😂💬
I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.
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When your phone doesn't understand the urgency of pizza and pajamas 🍕📱😅
Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.
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Ready to tackle another week of accidentally-on-purpose failing like a pro! 😅🎉 #SelfSabotageChampion
A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.
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Reaching for the stars, one clumsy step at a time 🌟😜🚀
Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?
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I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔